In two days, December starts. Time has never moved this fast, for me; work is demanding and the baby changes every day. I could’ve used a full week off for Thanksgiving. Maybe two.
I have been soaking up fall colors, and flavors! Final month of CSA share included many cranberries:
We even hosted a Thanksgiving Preview dinner, to reconnect with family and get some recipes down:
Winterizing
My home beds and two out of three work beds are cleared for the season.
Thanksgiving Meal Delivery
This was my second year volunteering for Thanksgiving meal delivery for seniors in Camden. It was exactly the note to end a short workweek on, and reminded me why I do the work I do.
Turkey Day
We love being The Host House and take it as a high compliment when folks stay the day, rest, nap, play games, somehow watch football in a house that never tunes in for sports, laugh, and make gobblers a few hours later here. Nate cooked an amazing spread! I made two small things but they turned out even better than I’d planned.
Brie en croute with my homemade cranberry sauce:
And this caramel pretzel bread pudding:
Poetry in Hammonton, NJ
And then, somehow, it was Black Friday. Daycare was closed, my office was closed, but my spouse had to work.
I thought we were going to look at the ocean, and only taking a pitstop in Hammonton, NJ. But walking around the cute downtown made it apparent that it was too cold and windy for a boardwalk excursion.
The walls of the cafe were lined with the work of local artists, so I took my baby to look at and describe each one.
My little guy kept waving to this Santa, which melted my heart.
Then we saw this poem:
I decided we would stay in Hammonton and hunt poetry.
It felt so good to read each piece out loud. Currently I’m reading three things on Kindle and one paper book. Last week I bought a paper book about cemetery walks and I’m tempted to start. I feel all over the place! So spending time with one poem at a time was a meditative experience. My 11-month-old is delightfully curious and I got to be as fascinated by everything as he is.
It was a cold day so we dipped in antique stores, boutiques, and an old-school toy shop whenever possible.
While we meandered, I thought: I’ve seen standup clips or other memes from people who are parents, expressing that people who aren’t married and don’t have kids can just, like, follow a butterfly around for a bit and it doesn’t matter. All their time is “free,” right?
Nah.
I can take a joke, but I hate that joke specifically. For lots of reasons! When I wasn’t married and didn’t have a kid, I used my time well, cared for others, kept a schedule, accomplished goals, and was pretty busy most of the time, actually. Child-free folks have full, rich, and meaningful lives.
And the Hurry up and have a kid so you can be miserable like me attitude isn’t allowed in my household. I’m not miserable with my kid, quite the opposite, and the “misery loves company” thing has never been true for me, even through humor.
I refuse to participate in the resentment of people who don’t have kids ever (or even yet) that bubbles up in some parents some times. (Or, I’m allowed to feel it [haven’t yet] but I will not say rude or demeaning things to child-free people!)
And any time someone said I was frivolous or selfish in my child-free era, I wasn’t inspired to have a kid. I was inspired to cut that person out of my life.
MOST IMPORTANTLY, what’s wrong with being frivolous? Wandering is healthy. I want my kid to wander, and not always be productive or feel like a cog in a wheel. And especially, I do not want this kid’s mind warped and attention span destroyed by our stupid, stupid phones and apps. So I modeled rambling about with my baby.
We walked around looking for alley walls, murals, and spaces inside cute local shops for more poetry. I read the words to him out loud, slowly.
It’s actually really fun to be an adult yelling “TRAIN! TRAIN!” and waving when it zooms by. My baby is just an excuse to do this.
From there, I drove a section of the Pine Barrens Scenic Byway, a series of one-lane highways that I took in and around Wharton State Park, Bass River State Forrest, and Lake Absegami.
We took the LITERAL Back Road:
This festive farm stand made me smile!
The wandering was a poem. That was my theme for the day, a day when I will never shop at a chain store or even an online retailer run by a fragile billionaire. Not after I’ve been the worker during that nightmare shift. Not ever again. My money was spent at one local shop, a cafe, and a diner where they wouldn’t even charge me for my baby’s applesauce. (I gave a 75% tip.)
I am thankful for time with loved ones, a break from work, good food, and the time to amble.
Laura Eppinger 