Eight Classic Works of Literature Summarized in a Yoga Studio Newsletter

Check out my parody yoga studio newsletter!

Little Old Lady Comedy

woman doing yoga pose facing sea Photo by Nathan Cowley on Pexels.com

Greetings Beautiful Bright Glimmering Soul-Friends!!!!

Check out these autumn specials, PLEASE register online to reserve your spot today! Great works of literature for these hot hot HOT prices that won’t last!

JANE EYREby Charlotte Bronte

Build that inner heat and it will rise and rise, then conveniently murder your lover’s secret wife!

FAHRENHEIT 451 by Ray Bradbury

Hot yoga special!!! Sweat and cleanse while we burn away all unwanted thoughts. Memorize then recite this newsletter for 10% off.

THE BELL JAR by Sylvia Plath

Cure your depression with vinyasa flow and essential oils. Everyone pointed this protagonist in the wrong direction, when duh, all anyone needs to be cured is to pay us $2,000 for yoga teacher training, CLICK HERE TO REGISTER.

TO THE (INNER) LIGHTHOUSE by Virginia Woolf

This story opens in a Scottish lake house during summer, the perfect place for…

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HAIR/ LAURA EPPINGER

An oldie but a goodie.

Long hair, thick hair
pheromone trap black hair
a rope to tug pinned up
against a wall. Spillover bedside,
bleach in the summertime, shave
in fall. Smooth at secret crescent
silken comb of broken teeth. Tie
it back, it bursts, hair,
tie it back, it bursts.
Cable-strength noose, barbarian braid
a sword between two bodies reclined
no trust cannot sleep beside
hair, unsung Samson song keep
those fingers to yourself.
Supple never touch hair,
soft but never touched.

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